Human Resilience

With the shocking collapse of Lehman Brothers earlier this week and the daily turbulence and unfolding drama in the financial markets, comes the reality of mass redundancies.

I was saddened to see the footage of staff leaving Lehman Brother’s tower in Canary Wharf and can imagine the devastation this has caused.

Redundancy is a shocking event that can really test someone’s resilience. When change is forced upon us by external events, the chances are that we may not be able to control it and managing the change process may be hampered by our feelings of impotence. When the change has a major impact on our life for example the death of a loved one, divorce, illness or a loss of a job, we will inevitably go through a process of bereavement.

We may find ourselves at one of the stages of transition as described by Eizabeth Kübler-Ross in her work around death and bereavement. (Kübler-Ross, Elizabeth, 1970).

Whilst these stages were initially observed in people facing death, they can be a helpful tool to consider in relation to other periods of transition such as divorce or redundancy.

Below are some suggestions to help stay emotionally resilient through periods of sudden change.

1. Support can be extremely beneficial, talking to a trusted friend, partner, spiritual advisor, counsellor or someone who has experienced a similar event. There are many support groups or “on line” communities and forums you can join.

2. Practise taking each day as it comes and every morning try to set yourself a plan for the day with 2 or 3 clear goals to achieve that day.

3. Take good care of yourself. Change can bring out vulnerabilities and fears which may lead to erratic lifestyle patterns such as heavy drinking and not eating regularly. Simple things like eating well, resting, using some form of relaxation or physical exercise.

4. Allow yourself time to feel your feelings and grieve the loss that accompanies the change.

5. Some people find it helps them to take the focus off themselves so call someone else to see how they are doing or offer their services voluntarily to take their mind of themselves and their problems.

6. Autumn is a time of change and walking in a park or nature can help you connect with the natural cycles of change and that all things pass.

7. Trust yourself – what is the evidence to show that you have got through difficulty in the past?

8. Avoid the temptation to totally isolate as this can lead to a self-defeating cycle of thoughts which lower self esteem and confidence. Gather your most trusted friends and explain to them what is happening. Enlist their support in helping you through this time by telling them what you need to and how they might help you.

9. Updating your CV can be a really powerful way to help you to focus on your achievements to date.

10. Whilst there has been a disruption to the everyday routine of your life, some people experience these as opportunities to do re-vision their life. e.g. set up their own business, re-train, downsize, set up a weblog, write a book, become a teacher etc.

11. Don’t forget to create positive scenarios – it is easy to think about the worse case scenarios. However, when not balanced with other more positive possibilities, they can cause freezing and panic in the system, causing us to be immobilised.

12. If you find yourself feeling immobilised by fear or depression, seek help from your G.P., a qualified counsellor, or psychotherapist. This is not a sign of weakness but rather courage, strength and dealing with the issue.

‘When we are no longer able to change a situation we are challenged to change ourselves"

Victor Frankl